Not strong enough

Envy is a tricky emotion.. very tricky actually... I have NEVER felt envy before....until now i have to say, i feel kind of ashamed because i let myself be consumed by it.. it feels so weird to ADMIT it....but in a way i still feel betrayed because theres nothing in the world that hurts more that to lose the person that is more important to you... and then comes the confusion and fear.. i admit it.. i have fear... fear of facing the truth .. and in the end of my mind i think: now your fucked...maybe im not strong enough....